In the 9:00 a.m. huddle the dashboard bragged about a 38% RPC rate — turns out half were voicemail greetings named ‘Hi, it’s me,’ while actual PTP sat at 12.1%, so I told the team whoever pushes us to 15% by Friday gets to rename the queue and pick the next call script. Anyone else weaponizing humor to move the needle when the metrics try to troll you?